Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Loving me for ME not my Body

Today marks 7 weeks without ED behaviors. 5 weeks without self harm behaviors. Ive never felt such freedom.

Anyways, on to my post!
I have written a similar post in the past, but I hope that this one sets a little more strength because I'm able to TRULY believe these things, and I hope you can practice positive self exercises to aid your recovery.
Ive decided since the past few months since reaching a healthy weight that stressing about clothing sizes is a HUGE waste of time. Within the past two weeks Ive been in several stores and my pant size was a different number in each store! I would beat down myself if I didnt fit into size X or Y at this store, but if I fit into that size in another store, than I HAD to get them! Even if I liked the prior item of clothing more based not on the size.
And it just clicked to me...
"Who gives a damn about my pant size?"
"How does my size determine my worth?" ...well I'll tell you right now...IT DOESNT.

People see you for the person you are on the inside. That may sound corny to some of you now, but think about it. If your friend was introducing you to someone are they going to say "This is my friend, size x, this tall, and this wide" ?  Ofcourse not! They're going to say "This is my friend Kassidy!" . We are more than the numbers that we let consume so much of our time and energy. That time could be spent having fun, that energy can be spent working on loving and accepting yourself.

So what if you're a size 2,4,9,12,14?!!! YOU ARE NOT A NUMBER. You are you. And you are beautiful as you are. Dont let anyone or anything make you think any less.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

A year ago, today...

A year ago today I was rushing off to Arizona; on my way to a treatment center; Remuda Ranch.Today, I'm rushing to go shopping, take art classes, hang out at the Y, and be with friends.

A year ago today I was terrified of everything, especially the future.
Today, I see good things to come, and Im open to change.

A year ago today, I didnt think recovery was possible.
Today, I'm living and learning in it.

A year ago today, I hated every aspect of myself.
Today, I'm learning to love myself.

A year ago today I felt so alone.
Today, I realize, I never was.

A year ago today, I wasnt myself.
Today, I'm becoming myself!!!

A year ago today, I thought I was forever broken.
Today Im gluing the pieces back together.

A year ago today, I never thought I would write something such as this. And, throughout this year has brought many struggles and hardships. But, they've helped shape me into who I am today.


Happy Independence Day everyone!!!