I dont think anyone really gets how much our eating disorder supports us in following it's unhealthy ways..If I restrict, ED tells me "Good Job" "You're so strong" or "Keep up the good work" And support is a key part in recovery that alot of people dont understand...I think if people, for example in my family, could be more supportive..When I eat anything I'm immediately told by my ED how terrible and disgusting I am..yet I dont ever get any positive feedback from the people who "want" me to get better. If I'm not being supported with trying to be healthier than why should I? I get way more support from my eating disorder when I'm being unhealthy. I've joined support groups, and have supportive people in recovery with me as well, but i still need that support from my family because they're the ones I have to live with, they're the ones I have to eat with, they're the ones who are going to be a part in my lives whether I like it or not. I know I need support, and I've reached out for it multiple times..but it never works out..and I'm back in the vicious cycle of turning to my ED for support.
Sometimes you have to realize you can't change your family and that is honestly one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. But also, I've been in family therapy with my mom for years and it's helped a lot. Just a suggestion?
ReplyDelete