The room next to me I overheard a woman complaining about how the size 9 jeans she was trying on were too tight and the sizes at this store are "messed up". She went on to say that she'd rather go to Old Navy so that she would fit into her usual 9. The woman could've easily gotten the next size up and bought the jeans here. It made me think, how much numbers can mess with our heads.
When I arrived home, I did some research . I read an article about how many stylists who dress celebrities cut out the sizes in their clothing because they know that celebrity wont wear something that is over the size they think they are. It sounds ridiculous, how a little number on a piece of cloth can make or break someones' confidence and view of themselves.
For people with ED's it can be a nightmare shopping, especially for jeans or shorts. It's a big trigger for me and probably for you too. I know that one day, once I get back to a healthier weight, I'm going to have to slip out of those size zeros.
Once I put ED aside and thought about the worst thing that could happen with having to go up in sizes someday, my mind went blank. The world isnt going to end. No one is going to die. Nothing would be different. It's just a pair of cloth. Each brand makes their sizes differently. Changing sizes wont change my, or anyone else's level of beauty. Beauty is not defined in the size of your jeans or the number on the scale. Beauty is what people see inside you not on you.
I just wanted to tell you I absolutely love your posts <3
ReplyDeleteand i absolutely love all my reader's comments :) <3
ReplyDeleteIt's not about numbers but you feel the need to post yours? That's kind of hypocritical don't ya think?
ReplyDeletemy points in putting the number was that i know that when i gain more weight for recovery that i will no longer fit that size.Also, in posting it in the beginning was just to describe how the size came out looking differently in different brands. As of now my ED makes me think that numbers dictate my worth, but i'm working on changing that and making myself believe that beauty is not a number. This entry, like most of my entries are about aspects of my ED that i am working on. I myself havent come to terms completely with how numbers effect me, my goal is to not have numbers define me and through the process, have my readers who are struggling do the same as well.
ReplyDeletei know you hate anonymous posts but i can't figure out how to put my name. it's randomphrase so you know.
ReplyDeletei love this post. i'm currently a size 3 and i cried when i went up to a size 1 from a zero. i don't know why the number bothers me still.
3 seems so big. i still have a pair of capris that are size zero and every once in a while i put them on and they're tight and i feel terrible but i can't bring myself to get rid of them. i don't know my weight or BMI anymore. i will not keep track of them because they make me cry.
this is a beautiful post, thank you.
I love your posts and I believe you can get better and your right, Beauty isn't a number, beauty is who a person is
ReplyDelete