This is the routine I go through every morning. It's a struggle everyday. A constant struggle between the mirror and myself, and ofcourse ED. I think to myself How do I need to gain weight? I can see the fat here and there and everywhere.. It scares me alot. When I was first told I have Body Distortion Disorder I denied that I did and I actually still do alot..It's hard to believe that my eyes are pretty much broken. How is this possible? I wish I knew. I just really hope that one day I can really see myself..REALLY.
You are not fat! don't ever Listen To ED thoughts! You are beautiful! You are strong! I know you can get through this! i am here for you if you ever need to talk!<3
ReplyDeleteI can't see how you could ever have BDD, since you're so beautiful and thin... but I suppose BDD is something you gain from triggers no matter how thin and beautiful you could actually be, so I can't blame you for having it. I know you'll see your beauty for yourself some day, because it will never go away - the disorder will.
ReplyDeletethank you
ReplyDeleteI relate to this so much. I deny my BDD and just write it off by saying everyone else is wrong and lying to me about how I really look. But I want to PROMISE you that you are beautiful, and your eyes ARE truly lying to you. I hope you are able to fight through it and see how beautiful and thin you really are. Take care, sweetie. You can do this <3
ReplyDeleteOh, and by the way, you're a really good writer (: