I feel like I want to stop everything. The little progress i may have made this week..I cant handle it..I feel horrible..and my ED thoughts are consuming me.So many triggering things have happened in just this very day and I cant take it all..i just cant. Ive tried to take my mind off of it and use "coping skills" like drawing, watching a movie, and reading a magazine...but my eating disorder keeps poking at my brain..I feel like i'm going to lose it and explode into a million pieces. I want it all to stop. I hate this. I hate me
Im feeling so depressed today it's amazing that I'm able to plaster a fake smile on my face, and act like nothing's wrong..but there is so much that is. I want to curl up into a little ball and disappear :(
I know that feeling, of wanting to disappear but unfortuantely, we can't :/ I hope you realize how beautiful you really are some day. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteJust being able to voice your struggles shows that you CAN do this. When you're struggling, picture your future, your dream future. What does it include? No doubt it includes being happy, a career, family perhaps? Because ultimately, these are the things that will make you happy. Now of course there is, or should be one thing missing in your dream future - ED. He has no place there, he isn't wanted and he certainly doesn't deserve to be there. You don't need him, you are beautiful without him and he certainly won't contribute to your happiness. Stay strong, grit your teeth and fight back, destroy him like he destroyed your life. Stay strong, you're not on your own in this <3
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I love you girl! and you can pull through this! i am here for you! <3
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